I understand that he is probably just as frustrated as I am. I get that he doesn't understand WHY he can't have the straw, he really really wants the straw. He loves to play with the pots and dig through the trash...why can't he do that?? I understand that my saying no to his most favorite things is hurtful to him but I also don't know how to break into his toddler language and explain it to him in a way he can understand. We have tried swatting his hands and trying to make him understand cause and effect. It's not working...I could swat him all day every day (sorry if you are against spanking...I'm about to be, doesn't work anyhow!). My mom said I need to make him understand the tone in my voice or a certain phrase to always ALWAYS stay consistent with what happens when he whines and throws fits. I don't know what that phrase is or what the right "punishment" is. He loves his bed, that's not a punishment. He won't stay on a "time-out" mat or even understand the concept of time out. So I'm at a loss....I'm frustrated, he's frustrated. We both spend a lot of our day unhappy with one another. This child is incredibly strong willed (and for those in my family who are smiling...yes I know where he gets it) and before now I would have said if there was a battle of the wills, with anyone, I could win. I think Aiden's broken me down.
Now I am going to apply my own personality trait to this problem. When I don't know something, I research! Lots and lots of research! I am going to go out and look for some toddler books that I can read at night after he goes to bed. If you know of any good ones let me know!
4 comments:
If you have a playpen, you might try just putting him in that when he starts to throw a fit and let him sit in there for a couple of minutes at a time, WITHOUT any toys...and upstairs, if need be. You are doing a great job! We, as parents, apparently have to go through this nightmare state.....all you do is look forward to nap and bed time.
I really think that school next week will be so good for you AND Aiden. Don't worry, the kids and I are going to do it all for you Saturday!!!
Can't wait to see you guys!!
tape might help--not on Aiden but on the place where the pots and pans are. only leave out one toy to play--others completely out of sight. walk into the other room when he throws a fit--try to distract him . I have tried all of this with your father and I can tell you for sure--NOTHING WORKED--he has grown up to be a pretty outstanding person. hang in there, this too shall pass. oh yes, when Ben gets home hand him Aiden and go take a very long bath or even a nap!!!
lover and logic ........Charles Fay
they have tons of books, seminars even a web site. I think there are videos you can download. They have them for toddlers, pres-school, school age, teenagers, teachers........you name it. you bought me the book for grandparents...........Remember?
loveandlogic.com
Don't go crazy and lose your cool.. Subscribe to the love and logic principle of disciplining and be consistent.
Wish I had it when you and Jarod were little. It would have saved me.
Works with my kindergartners and I know so many parents who have practiced it for years.
Watch for seminars in your area. They are often at churches. I will keep my eyes open over here. It is usually a 6 week seminar for 2 or 3 hours a night.
McKinney has them often. I will babysit if you find a location.
i agree with Pat about distraction when he starts to throw a fit. At his age he is NOT going to understand why, or even consequences. He is just too young!So best thing is to say "No" (Or whatever word you want to use consistantly) and then distract him with something you DO want him to play with, look at, or do. Even tickling, or walking out of the room so that he follows you--it will get his mind off the other thing.
:) Good luck hun. By the way, the picture of him at his new school with the lambs is so cute!
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