Zen Mothers

I have a pet peeve, all these zen mothers, mother nature, goddesses of light and gestation are making me mad. Every where I turn for information about pregnancy and childbearth and parenting there seems to be these types that I am referring to as the "zen mothers". The fact that they are this way doesn't bother me, it's that they make you feel that if you are not you are/ will be a horrible mother. I will give you a few examples so you know what I mean....1) "pick a birthing plan so you have a "succesful" birth, talk with other mothers who felt they got the most out of their birthing experience to get advice"....what does that mean? succesful?? got the most out of it?? Maybe I am naive but I am thinking if you start the process with a baby on the inside of your body and end it with a baby on the outside...you were succesful!! By what means you choose to get said baby out, I feel that is entirely irrelevant...goal should be simply get baby out. Zen mothers do not feel this way, they feel it is a bonding experience for mother and child, something you wish to cherish, prepare for, experience with those close to you. Again...that's great if you feel that way, I don't. 2nd point...drugs=bad, lamaze=good. Again I will state my point...I feel like as long as you get baby out you deserve a medal no matter how you accomplished this. But these mothers think that you are a "better" mother if you love your baby enough to give birth naturally. What child even knows how their mother gave birth much less says "mom I know you were in horrible pain for many hours and I appreciate that" NOOOO....no child ever says that, or thinks that. It never even occured to me to ask (or care) how my mother gave birth until now. Moving on to once baby is born...zen mothers believe breastfeeding only is what mothers who love their children do. I am not going to go into details about that cause it is not really for mixed company, but again I think this should be a mother's choice and it does not make you a bad or good mother. Then to parenting...good parents won't let their babies watch tv, good parents won't put their babies in swings for more than 10 minutes, good parents won't let their baby have anything but organic baby food. The list goes on and on. Some of this research I believe has some merit to it, but most of it I just think is hog wash. I know that there are a lot of things I do not know yet because no amount of babysitting or watching others can prepare you for what it's like to have your own baby BUT I am of the mind if sitting in swing keeps baby happy then what is the problem??? If baby likes barney or elmo or whatever else then what is wrong with that? Granted setting children in front of the TV for long periods of time I believe is a no no, but to completely ban television?? Yeah I don't think I can do that, for one I like TV too much for that. As for the organic all natural food thing...I totally believe in setting good examples, trying to encourage healthy eating at young ages so kids establish good eating habits. However; I can speak from experience....my mother (bless her heart) tried very hard to make me eat healthy foods, to like meats and veggies, fruits and other crap. I said no and refused to eat it. Like a good mother she made me sit at the dinner table till I finished and most of the time this ended with I would sit there all night until bedtime and still not eat it. I wanted grilled cheese and french fries. My point is simply I am not going to plan all this parenting stuff out, every child is different and sometimes parenting is about doing the best you can and not trying to do it all. Zen mothers don't seem to get that. In closing if you make all your baby food from scratch, your child has never seen a TV, you breastfed and endured many hours of excrutiating pain to give natural birth in a bathtub full of rose petals than more power to you. That is not me. I may never be a perfect wonderful goddess of light type mother, I will have to settle for being the best that I can be.