Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Bad mommy
Aiden is going through all these aggravating stages right now and I am constantly feeling like a failure as a parent. For one, he is pulling up on EVERYTHING. If he's not standing around the coffee table then he is eyeing the coffee table or trying to pull up on the coffee table or chewing on the coffee table...this little boy has so many toys and he is fascinated with the coffee table! Other than the coffee table...he is completely obsessed with ANYTHING he shouldn't have, he wants to play with my cell phone, with the remote control, with the tylenol bottle, daddy's running shoes etc. My entire day seems to be filled with "aiden let's not chew on that" "aiden don't touch that" "aiden no that's dirty"! I am constantly taking things away from him and he is constantly turning up his little face and screaming at me! AHHHH Last night he was pulling up on the coffee table, like he always does and I wasn't worried cause he does it all the time and he falls all the time and it never phases him. Well he fell and somehow he hit the roof of his mouth and it started gushing blood! I was so scared, it just kept bleeding. I got the blood to stop after pretty much ruining our clothes and putting ice on it and giving him tylenol and rocking him...we all calmed down but it was by far the MOST SCARY moment I have had as a mom. Ben and I checked his mouth before putting him down last night and there was just a tiny little nick that kind of gave him a little fat lip on the inside. Poor baby. Now today he is back to being Mr. Busy into everything. His coffee table incident has not scared him away from the table at all. Now back to the aggravation....now not only can he sit up in his crib when he should be napping, he can also now STAND. It is so hard to go in there and see him peeking up over his crib and smiling at me and still having to say NO it is nap time! I feel like a bad mommy all the time. I know he NEEDS to nap but I feel horrible that the only way to get him to nap is to just let him cry himself to sleep. I hate that! I would rock him, I would feed him, I would sing to him or tell him stories or whatever it took to get him to go to sleep peacefully but nothing works!! So we end up having a battle of the wills...can I endure the crying and the horrible feeling I have long enough for him to give up and go to sleep or will he win and I will go get him and let him not nap? Either way I feel like a failure. Aiden is in a very real stage of transition...he is turning into a little person and losing a lot if his BABY things. He is learning so quickly and aware of everything. I know this is the stage where I have to be firm or I will create a little monster. He is already on his way to being quite spoiled. He doesn't ever really want me to hold him unless he is sleepy, hurt, tired. Pretty much if he is awake and happy he wants to be on the ground playing and going. However he DOES always want me in the room and he definitely knows. If I get up and head to the kitchen the minute I turn my back to him he starts crying. So anyways I think we have some tough moments ahead and a lot where I will feel like a horrible mommy. If you have advice....I'd love to hear it!
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5 comments:
Okay, the first thing I have to say is forget the bad mommy thing. Absolutely everything you just mentioned is something every single mother has gone through. If you find someone who says that never happened to them they're lying! DO NOT GIVE IN!!!! He is a very normal baby, but at this age they do know how to push your buttons. Children always want what the can't have. I think they like a challange :) It's hard to say no or walk out of the room, but you need to do it. It will take a while but he will learn. Hang in there. You are a good mommy. One thing I learned is that while you always love the little stinkers, you don't always have to like them at any given moment.
Love you,
GK
No advice here, but your tales of woe reminded me of Katheryn when she was little. We had this enormous crib that you could convert into a "big girl" bed later. She figured out how to climb out of that thing. We were shocked when she walked/crawled into our room with the biggest grin on her face, after we had already put her to bed. I remember thinking that I liked her better when I could control her totally. The whole "walking on your own" and "I can do it by myself" was never one of my favorite parts of parenting. Until, of course, I got to go out with my wife and leave the kids behind.
Here is my advice.. Get a playpen. One of those large square ones or a baby surround that allows them to crawl around about 5 feet with toys and pull up but not leave that area. I know it isn't your house, but it is safer for you, him and Mamaw's house if he is in one when you are busy. He will get used to playing on his own some. He just likes to test his will.. I just remember having to be so hard on my kids from toddler age until about 4. And then it just got easier. We were so tough on them at a young age, and then they were great after that. At some point they decide that we really are going to follow thru with that spankin or time-out and it they give in to the "no" much quicker. But, you have many years of this ahead of you so just take some deep breaths and get a playpen. Also, keep tubs of toys so you can swap them out weekly. It gives them something new to look at every few weeks and they don't get burned out on the old toys. I always had too many toys and they just got bored with them. Get about 5 or so in a small box and let him have those for a week. Then get a new tub of toys out next week. Give him something new to see..
Don't forget the boo-boo buddy in your freezer for the bloody lips!!
Here's my advice........
Love and Logic.
Buy the books. Save your sanity and build respect, confidence, and self esteem. They have them for all ages and even have tapes.
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