Ok so this one is not daily, it is overall!
My resolution was to make my marriage a bigger priority in my life. Now before you start worrying...ben and I are good, we are actually great BUT I do realize that relationships thatstay great are because people actively work on them. Sometimes ben and I forget to take that time to just work on US. Without aiden.
Now I really hate when people make their lives seem so rosy and perfect, their marriages are always blissful, their children always well behaved. Their houses are always cleaned, clothes pressed, their relationships with God are intimate. Just the perfect little stepford people. That's not real life. Or not anybody who I know. So back to me...the imperfections and all...I have openly said on this blog SOOOO many flaws I have. From cleaning, to dieting, to working on my relationships with God and people, to how much I worry and stress...the list goes on and on...so please realize I am still just being honest here, I am not trying to say how awesome we are or anything remotely like that...I've already given you guys the list of things I struggle with!
BUT...
My family, my house is filled with SO much joy and laughter and happiness. I look around a lot of the time and think how did I get here? I do not deserve this kind of happiness but really 90% of the time if you dropped by my house unannounced you would find...probably a lot of toys on the floor, all the books aiden has brought out from his room, AND you would find us doing something fairly ridiculous. Not just aiden, all 3 of us, dancing, singing, laughing and talking. Simply put, we are happy. Ben and I are happy in our lives as a threesome. We love to be around aiden, we love to watch him learn and grow and we love singing and dancing and laughing with him and letting him crawl on us, etc. because we LOVE our family time so much we don't really notice until other people point out to us...do you guys ever get to go out? do you guys ever get a babysitter? don't you miss such and such? To which we answer no. We have never left aiden with a babysitter (that we have actually paid) he has stayed with family several times. We don't hardly go out by ourselves and no we don't resent that this is the stage of life we're in. Other people, young couples without kids get to go out and do fun things on a whim. They get to go to fun and exotic places and on trips that probably should make me jealous but it really just doesn't. Like I said...we're happy! The house is sometimes a MESS but it's ours, our family with aiden running around screaming and zac jumping on everything and the toys everywhere sometimes feels like a zoo but it's our zoo, we sometimes struggle with our finances but we become stronger and closer because of those struggles. Our life is not perfect but it is OURS and we love it!
Having said all that, I made this one of my resolutions anyways....
For us to spend time alone without aiden. For us to TRY and get in a date night once a month and when aiden goes to bed for us to worry less about what we need to get done and to focus on just spending that time with each other. So we have been doing this. We have left aiden with either my mom or kimberly and gone to movies, restaurants, etc. We have put aiden to bed and then made us a dinner to enjoy by ourselves. It's really not a big deal, they're just small things.... a small thing but I am trying to carve out time to just make it about ben and just about us. I give so much of my time and energy to aiden that I don't ever want ben to feel like he doesn't get enough.
However, now I need to say this...Ben is amazing. Absolutely awesome amazing. He is an amazing husband and a fantastic daddy. I've always known this but I know it even more now. I have so many girlfriends that when we get together we swap stories about men and babies and what it's like to be full time moms and to hear all these stories...I am just very very lucky. Ben doesn't have to be told to go change aiden's diaper, he will do it on his own, ben doesn't have to be asked if he will give aiden a bath, he likes to do that. When ben is home he doesn't just expect me to do everything for aiden like I did all day, he helps a lot AND the part that really just makes me sooo happy is that he doesn't do it to make me happy, he doesn't do it because if he didn't I would be mad or anything like that. He does it because he genuinely loves to take care of aiden, he loves being a daddy, and he loves me. Ben honestly GETS what I am trying to do with aiden, that I try my hardest to be super mommy and he is soooo supportive of that. When he gets home on mommy & me day and the house is a complete wreck he just smiles so big and asks what we did for mommy & me and wants to see the pictures. Yes I am a very very lucky girl.
So I did make it one of my resolutions that I would carve out special time for ben and me. I have enjoyed doing that and I do enjoy when we spend time together without aiden but mostly the last few months I have come to realize more and more that Ben and I are amazing. We are at an amazing and awesome time in our lives and we are all very happy. I know, I KNOW things will not always be this way and the newness of being parents and the excitement of being young and ambitious and in love will wear off...but for now we are incredibly blessed and incredibly happy and hopefully if we continue to work at it, continue to make it a priority, our lives will always be filled with this much love and happiness!
2 comments:
This is one of the amazing things that I appreciate about you and Ben. You enjoy being together more than you enjoy being with anyone else and Yes.....I can attest that you giggle and have a lot of fun.
I'm glad you recognize that you also need couple time. Maybe a weekly or bi-weekly date would be better.
I would sacrifice and keep Aiden. :-))
So well said!! You and Ben are so on track for where you are in life at this time. I admire both of you so much. Continue to have your good friends and reach out to those that might need your help and encouragement to have this same type of walk.
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